Well, around 11, Joseph, Jen, Melissa (Nat’s sister), and I were sitting on the couch talking about all of Melissa’s dead high school teachers. All of a sudden she says “We need to do something. I mean, talking is fun, but we need to play some practical jokes.”
I looked over at the coffee table. There were platters full of cupcakes, chocolate covered strawberries, and chocolate biscotti. I suggested that we go put one of the chocolate biscotti’s in the toilet because it sort of looked like a log of shit. Melissa grabbed it and went and waited in line for the bathroom. She finally emerged and the next guy went in. I decided I should go wait in line after him.
When the he came out of the bathroom I grabbed his shoulder and said, “I am embarrassed, I used the bathroom right before you and I forgot to flush!” He just stared at me so I continued, “Did you see anything?!”
“I just saw some chocolate biscotti.”
Who the hell would know that it was chocolate biscotti in a toilet?
Practical Joke #1: FAILED
We decided we had to step it up a notch. As I was saying, there was a lot of great food at this party… including these little tomatoes that you put on salads filled with cheese. Jen and Melissa stole a baby tomato and went and removed the cheese filling and replaced it instead with tooth paste. Melissa then returned to the living room carrying this tooth paste tomato on a spoon. I did not think that anyone would eat a random tomato that some girl was carrying around on a spoon, so I took it and put it back with the other tomatoes.
I carried the tray over to a group of boys including Josh Jones, Maskface, and some other guys. I offered them all a tomato. They all were really happy and each took one. Unknowingly, Maskface took the tooth paste one. They all proceeded to eat them. I started laughing really hard at this point, so I had to go into the kitchen with Jen and Melissa. We were laughing so hard, but we were still listening for Maskface’s reaction.
He didn’t have one! We figured that he probably just thought it was supposed to taste like that and he didn’t want to be rude by saying it was disgusting! Poor Maskface, we never told him what we did. It’s not like we targeted him or anything, he was just the unlucky one who chose the wrong tomato.
Practical Joke #2: ACCOMPLISHED
And the moral of the story is: We are all way too immature to attend cocktail parties.
….That’s why you should all come to the townhouse Valentine’s Day party tonight! (Did you like my plug?)